While listening to ‘gospel hour’ on the way to work one of my favorite songs came on…Mountain Get Out of My Way…I included a short video clip at the end of this post from youtube.com of the song.
I smiled, because yesterday found one of my mountains moved. Before I went to work mom gave me a card that was given to her that was given anonymously to someone else (follow that?). Inside was three hundred dollars! That coupled with the one hundred someone else gifted me last week and the money I was able to save from my last check all the money the doctor wants for my surgery is PAID IN FULL!
I smiled, because yesterday found one of my mountains moved. Before I went to work mom gave me a card that was given to her that was given anonymously to someone else (follow that?). Inside was three hundred dollars! That coupled with the one hundred someone else gifted me last week and the money I was able to save from my last check all the money the doctor wants for my surgery is PAID IN FULL!
Praise the Lord!
Now I just need to, suck it up, go into the hospital and speak to their financial department about how much they are going to want up front for the charges the surgery will incur on their end. I will be turning in my application for their financial assistance program, so we will see…I think what I know to be true is that surgery ain’t cheap…and news flash I am still scared of anesthesia and I HATE with a capital H-A-T-E the idea of having to wear a hospital gown and lay down on one of those hard tables all lifeless…BLAH!
Honestly I’m not worried about it…I don’t know if it is because I am just emotionally too tired to care…or if it is a peace.
*I think it is because I am too tired to care…Seriously, I just want to not have a fever every day, I want to be able to swallow, and breath again…I want to not feel like I have an inflatable neck pillow ever expanding in my neck and I want to stop feeling like I have the flu that never ends.
*
I am overwhelmed, humbled, and feeling unworthy of the generosity of others…I mean I’ve never been in a position to give someone 100 dollars…or maybe I have an never chose to make that sacrifice? There has been food for thought in this, that is sure. This no insurance thing in contrast with the seriously OUTRAGEOUS cost of procedures (it is up to 3000 dollars and we STILLhave no idea what is going on, the needle biopsies alone were 700 dollars and all they told us was that I have swelling, it is hard not to be a bit bitter about that) make you questions the worth of your life/health…don’t worry I’m not getting into a bad place or anything, I just want to be honest with how it can mess with your head.
*
On the bottom of a check a friend gave me for 100 dollars the memo line read…‘for God’s provision’…
*
and he has provided…
*
I continue to be ‘careless in the care of God’ or at least I try to be!
*I think it is because I am too tired to care…Seriously, I just want to not have a fever every day, I want to be able to swallow, and breath again…I want to not feel like I have an inflatable neck pillow ever expanding in my neck and I want to stop feeling like I have the flu that never ends.
*
I am overwhelmed, humbled, and feeling unworthy of the generosity of others…I mean I’ve never been in a position to give someone 100 dollars…or maybe I have an never chose to make that sacrifice? There has been food for thought in this, that is sure. This no insurance thing in contrast with the seriously OUTRAGEOUS cost of procedures (it is up to 3000 dollars and we STILLhave no idea what is going on, the needle biopsies alone were 700 dollars and all they told us was that I have swelling, it is hard not to be a bit bitter about that) make you questions the worth of your life/health…don’t worry I’m not getting into a bad place or anything, I just want to be honest with how it can mess with your head.
*
On the bottom of a check a friend gave me for 100 dollars the memo line read…‘for God’s provision’…
*
and he has provided…
*
I continue to be ‘careless in the care of God’ or at least I try to be!
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