Hey guys...I am sorry I have been off on the posts this last week...the goal is for these to be posted on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday...and the scheduled will return to normal tomorrow...I so appreciate your support, and patience as I make this my routine...remember today I am answering the questions I asked on the 10th from the perspective of my past and present...go here to refresh your brain...
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1. What to you try to control in your life?

Past: Everything, I needed to control where I sat in a room so that I felt 'safe', I needed things pre-planned because I did not respond well to changes in my plans, 

Present: Not too much, I am as easy going as I have ever been...nothing much brings back 'anxious April' but when I do start to feel anxious (out of control) I begin to try and take control back...

2. What are the benefits to you in controlling those situations?

Past: My anxiety was lessened...

Present: Same as above

3. Does your controlling those situations hurt people in your life?

Past: Yes, it was selfish...demanding...made me unpredictable...and easily upset...I was really good at taking out my control on customer service people at stores or on the phone, by demanding the service I 'deserved' and being impatient.

Present: I have made a HUGE effort to be more patient and kind with the customer service people...even when I am EXASPERATED with them...

4. What do you need to relinquish control over?

Past: Everything

Present: Stress regarding two specific areas of my life...my employment, and what other people think of me...I have recently begun teaching a class of 1st and 2nd graders on Wednesday nights...this has been stretching me in ways I couldn't have imagined, one of which is worrying about how other see me...I mean I have worked with kids, everyone thinks I am amazing with kids, and I feel this pressure for it to be perfect and the for the kids to be well behaved all the time...but they aren't, sometimes they become little monsters and I can allow it to stress me out...I really love the little rugrats and things are getting better the more I learn what works in corralling them...so my challenge this week will be to let that go...

What did you come up with that you need to let control over? I am going to challenge you take one of those things, and for A DAY don't do them...I recently saw a Facebook post by a friend and fellow blogger, Sherri, who also seeks to educate on mental health issues...you can check her out at Not to Broken for God...that clearly states the control and then the release...
Miracles do indeed happen. For years I have "had" to have all my laundry clean and put away, all my dishes clean and put away and all my trash taken out on Sunday night so when I leave for work Monday morning I am starting with a clean slate. Last week I didn't take the garbage out - and actually made it all week without needing to... just had to keep smushing down my trash (I am a human trash compactor!) So, today I took the trash out then realized I hadn't emptied my coffee grinds from my coffee pot. I just dumped them in the trash without a second thought. (In the past I would have emptied them in a grocery bag and taken it outside) I am a recovered "whatever you call what I was" #NotLettingTheLittleThingsGetToMeAnymore #DontSweatTheSmallStuff  
#FocusOnWhatREALLYMatters
Let me know how this experiment works for you...if you make it through one day try to do a second...I know, for me, it was incredibly freeing...it was like a switch was flipped in my brain and I no longer needed control...but it wasn't magic, I had to practice coping techniques and sit with the anxiety until I realized that the anxiety was not going to win...

This week the topic is Toxic People...

Carelessly,

April

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