Toxic People, we all have them in our lives...the people who drain the life out of you when you are with them...they come in all varieties; selfish, negative, demanding, demeaning...
the toxic people in life and reflection
I am no expert but I would hazard a guess that a large percentage of the population who struggle with anxiety and depression can attribute it to 'situational' depression...I wrote about that here...and along with financial hardships, toxic people would be the top causes of situational depression.

I have been lucky in that I have not had a ton of toxic people in my life...yes, my dad would have been toxic but I don't have a specific story to tell about that...I have had some co-workers and supervisors who have been pretty toxic...and am going to share about the most toxic supervisor I have ever worked for...

To be clear, Marty (not her real name) was good at one part of her job...she was great a running a non-profit, that is the business side of a non-profit...she was not great at the people side...Marty was unpredictable, demanding, and unreasonable...everyone had a 'Marty' story...people were quitting, searching for new jobs on the job, and having physical symptoms of stress (sickness, stomach problems, mental health issues, etc...)

At one point in my employment I was given a 4,000 raise in exchange for an increase in caseload, and responsibility...this was of course AMAZING for me, as I was able to handle the caseload at the time...About six months into my new salary, the budget became tight, and without any advanced notice my pay was reduced...This to Marty seem fine, to me and the others it affected, not so much...

Marty eventually left for another agency and the positive change in the atmosphere of the office was tangible...looking back, we actually considered having a party after she left us...

That example is tame compared to other's...but this story shows that the toxic people in your life don't have to be extreme to make an huge impact...

Tomorrow I will ask you some questions to help you identify the subtle and outrageously toxic people in your life and Thursday we will discuss ways you can protect yourself from being caught up in the toxicity...

Carelessly,

April
10/15/2013 07:53:49 am

Work seems to be a good place to find this kind of person - I have one - I call her TJP. The thing I have had to learn is that she's only an issue if I allow her to be an issue.

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10/17/2013 11:19:08 am

you are right, Mick, it is great that you can see that! kill'em with kindness :)

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10/15/2013 12:32:49 pm

April, I recently starting removing toxic people from my life and it's made all the difference. It's crazy how we unintentionally allow negative people to have so much influence in our lives.

I enjoyed this post! I hope you're doing well. Keep up the great work.

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10/17/2013 11:28:13 am

Larry, thanks for the encouragement...it means a lot! and so proud of you for starting to remove the toxic people in your life...it really does make all the difference...

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