This last weekend I was BOLD...
Unafraid I drove to Nashville to attend a Pickn' Party with some friends...
Unafraid I drove to Nashville to attend a Pickn' Party with some friends...
I was fine when I arrived at my friend Anna's house...four of us went to dinner and it was a blast...
The trouble came when we arrived at the event and met up with 15 other friends...in the midst of over a 1000 people we were a small group laughing, talking, and learning about each other...as should happen, small groups were formed and people stood in circles talking about life, and work...
anxiety/insecurity welled up inside threatening to drown...the first thought was to gain control of the situation...right? this is my first and most honed coping skill, control...I wanted everyone to set their chairs up in a circle and sit down...this would be so much less threatening (TO ME)...thankfully I did not act on my first instinct, I would have looked stupid, and controlling...I knew it was irrational...so I acted on my second instinct...to withdraw...I sat in my lawn chair, practiced breathing techniques...enjoying watching everyone connect, and have fun...when I was ready to try again, I got up and joined in the conversations...I did this several times throughout the night..
did I come off nervous? probably
did I make real connections? YES
were those connections worth fighting the anxiety? abso-freakin-lutely!
I even 'punched fear in the face' and introduced myself and my dream to Jon Acuff the New York Best Selling author of the book Start, and the creator of the amazing group of dreamers I am privileged to be a part...I am positive I came off goofy to him, I mean I was a bit star struck...this guy is DOING what I know to be my destiny...he is just a few more years in, with a heck of a lot more experience...graciously he listened to my dream, and the idea of my first speech...and gave me some FANTASTIC, and practical advice and encouragement...
did I go away wanting to hit myself in the head for being awkward? yep, sure did...
do I regret it? no...
would I be regretting it today if I had not approached him? YES...
as the night wore on...and I continued to tell anxiety that it was not going to take this experience away from me...I loosened up, had great conversations, and had some amazing laughs...
I hope that sharing this encourages you to embrace your awkward...to participate even when everything that is within you screams RUN AWAY, and to remember that practice is the only way to gain experience...
Stay tuned for the second part of this story...
Carelessly
April
The trouble came when we arrived at the event and met up with 15 other friends...in the midst of over a 1000 people we were a small group laughing, talking, and learning about each other...as should happen, small groups were formed and people stood in circles talking about life, and work...
anxiety/insecurity welled up inside threatening to drown...the first thought was to gain control of the situation...right? this is my first and most honed coping skill, control...I wanted everyone to set their chairs up in a circle and sit down...this would be so much less threatening (TO ME)...thankfully I did not act on my first instinct, I would have looked stupid, and controlling...I knew it was irrational...so I acted on my second instinct...to withdraw...I sat in my lawn chair, practiced breathing techniques...enjoying watching everyone connect, and have fun...when I was ready to try again, I got up and joined in the conversations...I did this several times throughout the night..
did I come off nervous? probably
did I make real connections? YES
were those connections worth fighting the anxiety? abso-freakin-lutely!
I even 'punched fear in the face' and introduced myself and my dream to Jon Acuff the New York Best Selling author of the book Start, and the creator of the amazing group of dreamers I am privileged to be a part...I am positive I came off goofy to him, I mean I was a bit star struck...this guy is DOING what I know to be my destiny...he is just a few more years in, with a heck of a lot more experience...graciously he listened to my dream, and the idea of my first speech...and gave me some FANTASTIC, and practical advice and encouragement...
did I go away wanting to hit myself in the head for being awkward? yep, sure did...
do I regret it? no...
would I be regretting it today if I had not approached him? YES...
as the night wore on...and I continued to tell anxiety that it was not going to take this experience away from me...I loosened up, had great conversations, and had some amazing laughs...
I hope that sharing this encourages you to embrace your awkward...to participate even when everything that is within you screams RUN AWAY, and to remember that practice is the only way to gain experience...
Stay tuned for the second part of this story...
Carelessly
April
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