SURGERY VIRGIN
I am now the proud owner of a port-a-cath 800z, the best port in the showroom, all the other cancer patients will be jealous (O.K. I confess there are not models of ports but it sounded fun yeah?)…the surgery took around an hour and I guess they had a little trouble placing it, and had to take a layer of fat out to get it to sit right…I am super sore, and have been told I can’t lift my arm much for the next two weeks (the port needs to settle and get embedded really well, because I can end up having it for a long time)…the problem with this is that the port is on my left side and I am left handed…so I must be vigilant and ask for help even when I want to do it myself…thank God I have a mom who will help me when I ask, without making me feel bad for doing it…She rocks my socks some days :)

I am faithfully taking my pain medication and will take it for as long as I need…I used to be really scared to take prescription pain killers because my father was addicted to them most of my life, and I have his addictive personality (I just focus my addictions on more healthy things)…but I have come to accept that I am not him (but I am who I am because of him and that is a strong women) and it is silly to be in pain because I am scared to become addicted…I will give that fear to God…

A long time ago I heard an acronym for the word FEAR that resonated with me in a powerful way

F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal

I was very fearful of anesthesia which ended up being both better than I anticipated and…just as I anticipated…I do not remember anything between being wheeled down the hall and waking up in the recovery room…so that was better than anticipated…coming out of the anesthesia was just weird, and I would like to not ever have to do it again please. I have written before about the sleep paralysis I experience sometimes and how terrifying it can be (here) and coming out of anesthesia is something like the sleep paralysis thing…you want to move but can’t, you want to talk you can’t, ect…luckily that only lasted a little bit and now I am as fine as can be expected and getting ready for bed…

If you want a good laugh I’ll tell you that last night my biggest fear of going under anesthesia was that I would be so relaxed and so asleep that I would pee on the table…I mean do people do that? I did not thank goodness, but I thought it was a possibility and I would have been mortified! What weird fears have you had about things in your life?
Anonymous said...April - sorry to hear you're going through such a rough time but I know God will bring you through this an even stronger woman! Praying for you and glad to be able to hear updates on how you're doing :) Peeing on the table definately does happen. While playing softball when I was 11 I broke my ankle in a way that they had to reset it and because they had to give me so much extra anesthesia cuz I wouldn't quit talking and go under, I woke up in a pool of pee!! I know I was very out of it but remember feeling extremely embarressed! lol Hang in there and am thinking about ya. Katrina

4smartmonkeys said...HUGS!!!
:)

Joyce said...You are so funny, a pool of pee! I've always been catheterized when I have surgery. 
I'm glad you got the port, it will make things a little easier for you.
You're in my prayers dear.

Zapolski Family said...Glad everything went well with the port. Still praying!

bzuccollo said...I love the FEAR part of your blog and your breakdown of the letters. Very inspiring! God Bless and I am praying for you!!

Anonymous said...HI, April...
My husb. is a surgical nurse, and you might have been catheterized, and never even knew it..sometimes they place a catheter, then remove it before you are fully awake.
And if it makes you feel better, those nurses and doctors have seen EVERYTHING, so a little pee is totally minimal, and wouldn't even phase them. I think they'd be happier to have you pee anywhere than have to clean up blood, or puke, so rest assured you were in good and non-judgmental hands!
Glad to see you looking so well after surgery!! 
Big hugs...
--Sandi--(your swap bot friend, "candigirl")

Amy {Design Intervention} said...April - - I LOVE your new blog layout!!! Where did it come from? Did you do the layout yourself? FANTASTIC!!!

Moowee said...You will love your port. Don't freak out the first time that they use it. The needle is huge but it hurts less than having the needle sticks in your arm. They can even do your blood draws from it so that you end up with less sticks overall. Less needles = good thing!
 
 
First let me say how happy I am about my new blog design…I think it looks fresh, and modern…I hope you enjoy it as much as I do…I spent most of the afternoon trying to make it right…it was a free template from this website, but there were a lot of corrections I had to figure out how to make through the comments section of their posts…while I am IN LOVE with some of the blog templates on their site, it is not the most user friendly...

This was a good way to spend my afternoon, because if I do much of anything I feel really lightheaded…not sure what is going on…after my angry post I decided that I needed to not work the rest of this week…I felt good about that choice, and with the new lightheadedness I am confident it was the right decision…

NOW…for the real reason of this post…

To proclaim some ways I am being blessed
Last Saturday I received another box of LOVE from some great members ofSwap-Bot…36 members to be exact…I got some amazing handmade items (cross-stitch, embroidery, a necklace,hats, a painting, other art, a beautiful pouch…and, and, and)…wonderful cards…and blessed with a really encouraging letter from a lady who has been through and survived VERY CLOSE to what I am going through…
Here I am modeling one of the hats from the picture…it is bird fabric AND fits my big head…double plus right there…

This week I received this beautiful bird from Anne in New Mexico…itsn’t it beautiful, she sent some candles to light behind it but I might hang it on the wall…right now I am just admiring it…I am so blessed to have people share their talents with me…
Robin and Blair’s Etsy shop is up and open for business…it has only been a few days and they have already made 15 sales…CONGRATULATIONS girls…you are off to a great start…here are the beautiful Lymphoma Awareness ribbons Robin made…she put a bird on them to personalize them to me…they make me smile…
around 20 are up for sale right now (they have already sold 7)…and more to come once they are completed…so go on over and get one if ya want…NO PRESSURE!

Blair is working hard on an ‘official Swap-Bot’ cookbook…she has already collected the recipes and will be selling those, as well, in their Etsy shop…I will be sure to let you know when they are available…I am not a cook, and am a VERY picky eater so a cookbook is not something I salivate over, but apparently this is something much desired by some so I can’t wait for people to be able to get them…

I am blessed that Robin and Blair are gifting to me the proceeds of both the ribbons and cookbooks…Not sure what I did to deserve their kindness but what I have heard from other people and what I have observed myself (obviously) they are pretty special people…

Today I was blessed with a very thoughtful package with a beautiful decorated dresser matchbox and some VERY cute embossed birdy stationary…

I’m afraid I am getting spoiled with all these beautiful things…I am keeping all the cards and notes in one place so that I can, when I am having a night like a few night ago, go through them and remember what I KNOW…

Lastly I am blessed with peoples prayers and petitions on my behalf to the throne of God…at the exact time they are needed…
Literally minutes after writing my angry post I received an e-mail from a friend in Portugal that said…

“April, 
I got your post card.  It is awesome!  I have been praying for you.  


Here is a verse that I like: 
"He gives strength to the wear, and increases the power of the weak
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. 
They will soar on wings like eagles; 
they will run and not grow weary
they will walk and not be faint." 
Isaiah 40:29-31


I know that you are probably feeling physically weary, but I pray that God will keep you optimistic and fighting the cancer.  He can give you strength.”

*
She had not read my blog post and had no idea that I was in fact (at the exact time she was writing that e-mail) weak and weary…
*
pretty amazing stuff yeah?
Letters Mingle Souls said...I so love this post! It's nice to see how little things make a big difference, isn't it? 

I'm blessed to have you as my friend. 

Thank you for the Birthday Wishes on FB. It's been a great weekend!

Hugs to you!
~Robin

The Missive Maven said...So glad that swap-bot can help bring you some cheer. I hope it continues to do so.

(Swap-bot Check out my blog swap/my username there is GreenVelvet)

 
 
Chemo is kicking my butt…the first treatment I was, for the most part, feeling normal by the Wednesday after…this time, I am still recovering and it is just a big inconvenience…

I’ve been shaky, and exhausted for days now…I thought maybe it was anemia (because, you know, I think I can diagnosis myself) but after talking to a nurse from the cancer center, I think that it is just the effects from the chemo…

In my head things would be the same as (or very similar) to the first treatment, but the nurse said that this is normal and that the second time you may feel worn down longer and that it may just compound with each treatment…She said that around 7 days out from chemo is when my counts will be the lowest and I may feel the worst…I can’t articulate how frustrating it is that the answer to most questions is that ‘no one reacts the same’ ‘some people work through chemo great, and some people can’t’…

I want something/someone to tell me how to feel…living with depression and anxiety I have learned when I can do something despite my FEELINGS..I have learned what I have to do to be accepted by a society that can’t/doesn’t try to understand…I have learned to suck it up and do what I have to…I’ve learned how to not let it paralyze me…

I am attempting to work five days this week, tonight is my second night…and I am just not so sure I am going to make it…I can’t clean like I am supposed to (which isn’t fair to my co-workers), and unfortunately my job isn’t one that I can just call in sick too, there has to be someone to cover me, I can’t just decide and hour before I’m to come in that I don’t feel like it…

Thursday morning I got off work, went home and took a two hour nap before my appointment with the surgeon to discuss getting the port…the surgery is scheduled for this coming Tuesday…then I came back home and slept for eight more hours before getting up for work…I’m tired…feeling a bit defeated…and honestly I’m angry…

Angry that my life has become dependent on others making appointments for me…angry that I don’t have a choice but to keep those appointments…angry that I have to care if my temperature is 99 degrees…angry that I don’t have the energy to think about doing a load of laundry, much less go and do it…angry that everyone says I need to take care of myself, that my health is important, but I still have responsibilities…angry that my mom has to take her vacation days to go to appointments and the hospital with me…angry that the mental exhaustion is hard to separate from the physical exhaustion…angry that I am bored because mentally I am awake but physically I don't even want to get the paper out pick up a pen and write a letter...angry that I am feeling so weak…angry that I feel like I shouldn’t be sharing this with anyone (It is like all I see/hear are stories of people who got through cancer with a great attitude, and I don’t want to be seen as if I am feeling sorry for myself)…angry that I can feel really alone even though I KNOW there are a lot of people who care about me (am I really that ungrateful?)…angry that I’m not sure I can just ‘suck it up’ …

The crappy honeymoon is over and I don't remember saying 'I do'...

I have a much more positive post in the works so be looking for that…
4smartmonkeys said...I wish I had some magical words for you, all I can offer is a huge HUG and my support :)

Melissa Flick said...April--
Your heart speak volumes -more than you can ever know!
Someone once told me- Take things one day at a time, and remember as long as you give it your best shot, at the end of the day, that is all anyone can ask of you.
You be as angry as you want-- cause sometimes life just sucks! But also know you are one brave cookie! =)
love and prayers---

Joyce said...What you write here each day will be a big help to others who may read this and are going through the same thing. 
A big hug April. I wish you didn't have to do this.

Letters Mingle Souls said...Much love and hugs to you, April. I think that taking things one day at a time is great advice. It's good to go slow. Things will get better. I just know they will.

Big hugs!

May 21, 2010 at 7:17 PM  Amy {Design Intervention} said...April - while I don't understand fully everything that goes along with cancer - - I can totally relate to people expecting you to always be strong and always have a good attitude - - some days it just sucks and you don't feel like fighting the fight and being strong for everyone else. I have learned that it is ok to be angry and - - this is a hard one for me - - to accept help from other people and admit that I can't do it all. Hang in there my friend and remember, we are not perfect it is only by God's strength that we can even continue on!

May 21, 2010 at 8:51 PM  Anonymous said...Oh, April...you are TOTALLY entitled!! I want to rant FOR you, and I'm not even the one going through it!!
If anyone has a right to be angry, you are certainly on the list of those who do. It's good to be angry, because it means you have a lot of "fight" in you.
I wish I could say or do something to take some of this off your shoulders..I really wish you didn't have to work while you are going through all this..you really should be watching a lot of bad daytime TV and eating something you love, like ice cream or mac & cheese..comfort should be your mantra right now.
Is there any way you can take a leave of absence, and then go back after you get to feeling more yourself?

Big hugs, honey..you are not alone, a lot of hands are out here holding onto yours in spirit..
--Sandi-- (candigirl from SwapBot)

May 22, 2010 at 1:52 AM  Moowee said...I love that picture. It really shows how tired chemo makes you feel. I slept for days sometimes and was still tired. I also got insomomia sometimes. I was tired all day when I had to be up and too tired to sleep at night. It does SUCK to be so tired. I am cheering you on and praying for you too. 

Don't feel bad for being mad sometimes. Anger is sometimes the fuel that keeps us going.

 
 
Yesterday was chemo day…It was LONG…I was up before 6:00 at the cancer center at 7:00 got blood work, saw the doctor around 8:30, and started chemo around 9:00…finally finishing around 2:30.

I brought my laptop and a big bag with letters to write and books to read thinking I was going to have a lot of down time…I had a lot of downtime, just not the coherent kind that would allow for productivity…Along with various anti-nausea medication they gave me Benadryl directly into my blood stream (I’m not sure why)…Now, you think that Benadryl makes you tired in pill form…This stuff KNOCKS you OUT! I got SO tired SO fast…Needless to say I will not be bringing quite so much with me the next time…The rituxan they give takes the longest part of the chemo treatment and it makes me REALLY hot, so I had to request a fan that I used the whole time…the good thing was that this time my blood pressure did not get high. Between high blood pressure and being hot I think being hot is the better choice…

Mom came to visit me at lunch and brought some breadsticks and cheese sauce from a local pizza place…

The red stuff being injected into me is vincristine…
I asked the nurse why she had to wear the smock and gloves when giving it to me…She said it is because if the vincristine were to get onto skin it would not just burn the skin it would eat away at it…That folks, is what is being directly injected into ME, three vials of it…It is best not to think too much about that yeah?

This is my cancer angel…it was made for me from someone on Swap-Bot and I love her!

She has birds hand stitched on her body, is holding a teddy bear, has a necklace, and a glow in the dark heart…

She is also wearing a scarf for her bald head, and has wings…she is there to hold for comfort, or is safe to throw if I am feeling sick or upset…the lady that sent it to me said it could be used as a ‘darn-it’ doll to throw when I want to say ‘darn-it’
I went all out…wore some nice clothes, necklace and make-up and think I looked pretty darn good…so I thought I would share…
Mid-morning I heard some dance music being turned up loud and a bunch of celebrating going on, it was a women’s last chemo treatment and the nurses dance to celebrate…they were all the way across the room so the picture is not the clearest but I wanted to share…
Last but certainly not least I got my PICC-Line out
…I am beyond excited…they still weren’t able to get blood out of it today and I was so getting so discouraged…the doctor said that the lymph nodes in my chest are shrunk enough to schedule surgery to insert the port, which will be practically no maintenance and a lot more reliable…
Whitney said...Hi April! I know of your blog through Swap-bot.com. I have been reading you for a few weeks and just wanted to tell you that I think you are one of the bravest and strongest people I've ever heard of. Keep up the optimism! I have awarded you with the Sunshine Award. Please see my blog if you are interested in passing this on to others. :)
whitney

Anonymous said...Hello April! So, I'm just now finding out about you cancer diagnosis. I want you to know I will be praying for you. Our son Isaac was diagnosed with a very rare form of leukemia a little over 2 years ago. His battle was horrific, but he is alive and well today. I know you will have many dark days, but God will take care of you April. You are pure sunshine to be around! I pray God's blessings over you!
With love,
Mysty Diehl
dmndiehl@comcast.net

Letters Mingle Souls said...I'm happy that you had a pretty good day! The chemo treatment sounds rough, but you came through it with flying colors! Yay! 

I love your angel! She's awesome, just like you! 

You look beautiful and I'm so glad that you got all decked out for the treatment! I think it's a great way to show your positive attitude and that nothing is going to get you down! 

I finished twenty-three awareness ribbons last night. I think they turned out to be pretty cute! I'll be taking photos and posting them on the Letters Mingle Souls Blog. They'll be up in the Etsy store next week. I have about 25 more I can make. The next batch won't take so long, I promise!

Hugs to you!

4smartmonkeys said...Hugs April:)

Joyce said...You are much stronger than you realize. God is holding your hand while you go through this.

Robynn's Ravings said...What a trial, April. Your spirit is unbelievable.

 
 
I have been really anxious and overwhelmed this week and today it has culminated in my being really emotional, impatient and in a horribly bad mood.

It is chemo week (this Friday) and the anticipation is not good…I know that I am just making it worse thinking about it but I’m not thinking about it on purpose…I promise

I’m having issues with my PICC line….there is trouble with the dressing because the tape is making my skin raw and causing it to break out so I can’t tape up the floppy ends. I went in Monday to have it changed there was an infection around the insertion site, so I am now on an antibiotic…then today after getting of the shower (where the dressing did not get wet) it was really humid and I noticed that the bottom of the dressing was unstuck, so I have taped it closed but I guess I will have to go in tomorrow to get it changed AGAIN…I hope I’m not the only person that has this much hassle with their line. It is really stressful…I will just die if something happens and they have to take it out and put another one in…I just want to know when the surgery to put the port in will be…I need an ending!

I’m having some relationship issues with someone.

My temperature is between 98.2 (regular) and 99.5 which I would normally not be concerned about, but the nurse earlier this week seemed very interested about when I had a 99 fever and how long I had the fever ect…so I’m worried about that…if they tell me I can’t get my chemo because I am sick it is going to screw up the whole schedule I I have worked out in my head and with work…which is making me anxious…

I haven’t wanted to eat much this week because my stomach is sour, my chest has felt kind of heavy (I don’t know if it is because I am getting something or maybe the lymph nodes are swelling again) and I’ve been really tired…now the question is do I have those issues because I am stressed and worried or because I am actually sick? That I don’t know…

What I do know, is that all I want to do is curl up in bed and stay there…I want to be held…I want to be held and have someone stroke my nonexistent hair…I want to be held and have someone stroke my nonexistent hair while I cry…

I haven’t been this anxious is a LONG time, and I have not missed it, the tight jaw, the racing thoughts, the intense emotions…those of you who have known me for a long time know the long, hard, and sometimes messy, battle I have had with depression and anxiety…a battle that is for the most part won with good medicine management…but I think everything is just too much…

On a more positive note, I got a call from Medicaid today and the man who called said that they have the records from all the doctors they have requested information from and that they were sending a request for records from one more doctor today…the doctor they still need from is one I’ve only seen once so it should not be too much trouble for them to get that in quickly…he told me to call in and check on the status so I guess once they get that information we should be really close to a determination…woo hoo!
Letters Mingle Souls said...Hugs.... Everything will be okay. Just think positive. I'm sure that Friday will go smoothly for you. There will be periods of time where you can't help but be overwhelmed, but that will pass, too. I think it's only natural to feel anxious with what you are going through. I wish I could be more comfort to you. I"m having a hard time finding the right words today. Just know that I think of you often and want you to feel better. 

I wrote a letter to you this morning. It's going in today's mail. It should be there Saturday, I hope. 

Stay Strong! 
Hugs!
~R

4smartmonkeys said...Hugs sweetie! I'm not sure what to say other than stay positive and we all have down days. Keep smiling and I hope Friday goes easier for you.

Rebecca

May 13, 2010 at 12:30 PM  Anonymous said...You know, you really should write a book about all this. You have such a way with words. I read your posts and smile with you when you are smiling, and cry with you when you are crying. Today will be tough, I feel sure, but you are one tougher cookie. My thoughts and prayers are with you especially today. 
Love,
Dianna Smith

May 14, 2010 at 8:07 AM  Kristen said...i'm sorry to read about your struggles. sigh life just isn't easy or what any of us ever thought it would be. you are in my thoughts today.

 
 
Last night mom shaved my head…

The last couple of days have been really rough…

I think I am finally absorbing the gravity of what is going on physically, financially, emotionally, spiritually, and whatever other allys there might be…

It felt good to cry, or, you know, hyperventilate…take your pick…ever wanna curl up in a ball and disappear for a while, or want your pet to be the one to pet you? I’m sobbing in bed and Little Bit finds my hand and demands I pet her, cracks me up!

Daily there is at least one medical bill in the mail…today it was like four…and the problem with medical bills is that they aren’t just for 15 or 30 dollars…no they are for 250 here, 700 there, another 1200 over there…even knowing things are being worked out and I shouldn’t be as worried as I am…it doesn’t make those HUGE amounts any less stressful…

I called Medicaid and they have mailed me some releases to get information from the doctors, I will fax those back Monday, who knows how long things will take once they are in their hands…I spent about two hours on the internet trying to figure out why everyone seems to think I will qualify (I don’t think so, but that is the pessimist in me) I kind of get it, but the problem with government is that everything is SO VAUGE…and there are SO many different programs, why would they want to make anything clear cut? That would be CRAZY TALK!

deep breath

Tonight will be the official debut of my new UN-do…our church is having a ladies dinner tonight and I can go because it is before I have to go to work…that is why we shaved it last night so that I had a day to acclimate…

O.K., o.k., o.k…I know you wanna see it, so I will share, there is no reason to hide…this will be my reality for at least the next nine months or so…

Here I am in my scarf, we only have one that is pre-made, mom is going to sew the edges of the fabric I shared a couple of posts ago, and my hats should be here the middle of next week…the pictures aren’t the greatest, I took them in the bathroom at work doing the best I could…

TANGET: Did I tell you the great deal the seller gave me on the hats? All six of them for 24 dollars…it would have cost me more than that for one hat on the other site I was looking at…I just have to have faith they will fit and look good..but that is a chance you take ordering anything off the internet eh?
and…here I am naked…

Are you ready?
I might have to learn how to rock the androgynous chic look…maybe I will invent it?

When I told one of my co-workers I was going to shave my hair last night, she said that I was brave…I wanted to scream…brave is not THIS! The word brave connotes a measure of choosing…and…I did not choose to have cancer, I did not choose to feel like crap after chemo, and I did not choose to lose my hair…I COULD however choose how I lost my hair…

I may be having some weak moments right now…but I will NOT be a victim…and this blog will not become all about cancer, the immediate future of this blog will probably be cancer focused but as I get into my new NORMAL…I will find other things to post about…I promise…
Moowee said...You look beautiful without your hair. Hats, scarves or just plain 'ol bald - ROCK IT!

Amy {Design Intervention} said...You still look cute April!! Praying for you!

William & Norma said...YOUR HAIR LOSS DID NOT CHANGE THE BEAUTY OF YOU AT ALL!!!

Anonymous said...Rock that look, darlin'!!!! It looks good on you. See, I knew you had a great head for the un-do. Love ya! Jeri Ann

Joyce said...Girl, forget the hats and scarves, you look great without hair! You're in my prayers!

Robin said...Beautiful on the inside and out! You go, girl! Thinking of you always....sending good energies and uplifting prayers daily.

Love to you!

Robynn's Ravings said...You have, hands down, the best attitude I have ever seen, April. Hair ain't gonna define YOU, as IF it could. LOVE IT!

Rachel said...You are beautiful.
 
 
My hair has started coming out…if I scratch my head or run my hand through my hair a measurable amount of hair comes out as a result…

You can think you are somewhat prepared for when it is going to happen…but there is simply NO way to be prepared…this sucks!
Robin said...Hugs.... Hang in there.

4smartmonkeys said...Hugs sweetie!

Anonymous said...So sorry you are going thru all this. Just remember you are one tough cookie and your awesome hats are on their way!
thinking about you..
Mel

Anonymous said...Man, that does suck! I can't imagine. I just met a woman, though, that said it was really hard at first, but later she just rocked the baldness. She reminded me of you in personality. It's obviously TOTALLY okay that it's hard, but I can imagine you rocking it eventually, with hats, scarves, or au naturale. Jana

SusanD said...Hey April, Sorry I haven't commented sooner. I've been so busy getting all my graduation requirements turned in.

Yes, loosing your hair sucks. No doubt. But it's just hair. It does grow back. Even though I couldn't control the hair loss, I could control HOW I lost it. I had a head shavin party. I invited my close friends and family, we had a pot luck, and they took turns with the clippers on my hair. I'm not sayn that's what you should do. But it helped me have some control in what seemed like an out of control situation. Email me if you want to talk more. Praying for you. Blessings, SusanD

May 7, 2010 at 10:43 AM  Zapolski Family said...Praying for you! I can't understand the cancer but can understand the hair loss and how difficult that is. Keep positive! You're beautiful!

May 7, 2010 at 8:27 PM  Moowee said...I have been there. The hairs fall out and land everywhere. I felt like a big shedding dog. It is tough at first but it you will get OK. During my treatments I met many bald ladies and I was amazed at the beauty of each one. I little bright lipstick and some pretty earings really set off a womans face when there is not a hair-do in the way. I will keep you in my prayers.

 
 
Today was an amazing mail day! I received two packages.

First…Thoughtful, with all kinds of birdy goodies and even Dr. Pepper lip balm (this person did their research)…also a great encouraging note…

Second…a HUGE box of cards, and thoughtful gifts from my friends on Swap-Bot…you should seriously check the site out…it has been a blast swapping crafts, letters, and life with others…I’ve cut way back on my swapping for this time in my life…but Swap-Bot has not cut back on me…
Blair one of my new friends organized this love fest…she had all these people mail good wishes to me…There are over 20 people represented in these two photos…and she said that she has another box…I got books (good to read during chemo I’m sure), beautiful handmade gifts, stationary, crafting supplies, reusable bags, notepads, and encouraging notes, ect…The support of these amazing thoughtful women is BEYOND my comprehension…I am convinced that the love, prayers, and well wishes of my friends (new and old) and family (biological and church) is the reason, I am able to stand without falling…

As if this isn’t enough…Blair (yes the same one from above) and another new friend Robin have offered to do something pretty darn amazing…

Blair is making a Swap-Bot cookbook, she will be gathering recipes from swap members and making a cookbook out of them, she will bind them herself and then sell them…As of yesterday the recipes are being submitted and the process is started…

AND

Robin is making ribbons…LIME green ribbons in support of non-hodgkin’s lymphoma, with little birdy charms on them…I think, they will be ready in the next couple of weeks, and I can’t wait to see them…and she will be selling them…

Blair and Robin share an etsy store and they have told me that the proceeds of the cookbook and ribbons are going to me to help as I adjust to changes in my life due to this cancer thing…

They wanted to help in some tangible way and made their own way of doing that…I am sure these women have full lives and for them to take on these projects to help me out is pretty mindboggling…and inspiring

Just wanted to share how an idea can, mixed with love and selflessness, explode into a box of greatness…what can you do, RIGHT NOW, for someone (not me) in your life that might desperately need a pick-me-up…Go, get a card and simply let someone know you are thinking of them…I guarantee it will be appreciated and may even be exactly what that person needs…think outside the box…

Until Later! I’m off to find the profiles of all these wonderful girls that blessed me today so that I can thank them…
Robin said...This post is awesome! You made my little old heart soar with every word! Swapbot can be a wonderful place! I've met many wonderful people like you and Blair. I treasure you both! 

Big hugs to you!

Jennifer Ramey said...How wonderful! Just today I sent a birthday card for Fred (listed in a pf on Swap-bot). It's his 100th birthday coming up. I love to see people that old and can you imagine the life experiences he has had!!! 

I think it is terrific that Blair and Robin were so kind to you. They have been kind to me in the past too, and I bet it made you cry to know that these virtual strangers cared so much for you. 

Even in this day and age, people still have charity and kindness in their hearts...and it's pretty damn amazing if you ask me.

4smartmonkeys said...How wonderful! Your post is lovely.
I really enjoy Swap-bot, and wouldn't have met so many wonderful people, if I hadn't joined.
Very happy you like all the great stuff :)

Rebecca

heather said...HI April, You are right about the difference a card makes. Thank you so much for the one you sent to me last week. :)

Pandessa said...I sent a card to Patrick at Cibele's request on the forum. Glad you liked all your goodies, you DESERVE them!

Anonymous said...I sent two cards out to friends in my SS class that wanted prayers for their week. 

Laurie D

Slamophile said...Yes, I too, like Jennifer Ramey, sent a 100th Birthday card to Fred. That's amazing - 100!
See, rainbow - there's lots of years left for you, yet! xx

Anonymous said...How wonderful April! You are such a great friend! I am glad you are doing okay! love, love, love! -Melissa H (your pal and swap bot friend)

Anonymous said...hi, i just followed throu from swapbot and have read through your writing April. I am so please that you have got so many well wishers and friends and senders that are new to you. I would like to agree that a card or a message of hello on a profile can mean so much and bring a smile when it is read or received. I have sent some out in the last couple of weeks as raks and have just stopped by on members profiles and said "hello". I realise you are having a tuff time at the moment and that is more then an under statement. I feel uplifted that you are able to say thanks for what you have received to each of your senders indivually, that will take some doing but I am sure every comment you send will send back a warm glow that the card/atc/book/gift pleased you. You have many supporters on swapbot, take good care, all the best.Merlinda

Bard Judith said...Masterbard from SB here! Sending you a RAK and prayers for your health - you will overcome this.

Hugs,
Judith

 
 
Lie
cause: if I order hats and make scarves
effect: I will lose my hair

Late last night, in preparation of my impending hair loss, I spent a couple of hours hemming and hawing over which hats to order…I thought I had my choices made…I was waiting to show mom tonight and then click to send the order off…I mean I have to allow for shipping time right? I will feel better having at least one well fitting hat in my possession by the end of next week…that is when the hair loss COULD start…I HATE not knowing when it will start.

This morning, I became paralyzed…that amount was TOO much for hats…I thought…I don’t need five I just need those three…yep, those three will be good…WAIT! are those the right colors? is that the right hat? what if we get it and they don’t look right? I wish there was a cancer hat store in the area…maybe there is…I should wait to order until I find out…You need to take a deep breath after reading that rambling right? I know I do…maybe I was thinking…

IF
I DON’T ORDER A HAT
THEN
I WON’T LOSE MY HAIR

yep, I’ve decided that is what I was thinking

makes sense right?

I think so…

Truth
cause: My hair WILL fall out
effect: I will need to find hats and make scarves

Tonight we went grocery shopping because tomorrow it is supposed to rain cats, dogs, cows, and butterflies…while at Wal-Mart we checked out the fabric and found some on sale that we could play at making scarves with…
I love the texture of the green one and the pattern of the blue and gold one…I thought the other two were nice subtle colors…I’ve looked on-line for patterns and ideas but I think we will start simple and just make some large squares to play with…

I’m feeling the beginning of an internal freak out about losing my hair…it is scary…
Amy {Design Intervention} said...Good Tutorial on comments!! I love the fabrics that you picked - I'm actually excited to see what you come up with those!!!

Robin said...You have a really great selection of fabrics! I can't wait to see what you make with them!

May 1, 2010 at 8:24 AM  Molly Stroud said...*I* personally think you should go with something more sophisticated..... like.... say.... SPONGEBOB! You could totally pull that off.... ;)

Anonymous said...Where's the thug hat?! ; )

Dianna Smith said...Thanks, April! I've been reading your posts and am thankful for the updates. Let's just say that I'm new at this......yours is the "first" blog I've visited......so I was relieved when you explained how to write back. :) Luke's preschool/graduation program was held on Wednesday evening so we missed church service. I'm sure there was quite a bit of excitement when you walked through the doors! Take care. Hope to see you Sunday.